VA Assembly Aborts “Happy Hour” Bill (no ultrasound performed)

Late last a month, a bill that would allow restaurant owners to advertise happy hour specials online was withdrawn out of concern of it being “too controversial.”

Let that sink in for a second while I provide a quick summary on what the VA General Assembly has been up to lately:

A bill that would require a forced ultrasound screening for any woman seeking an abortion — that stirred up outrage and mockery from every corner of the country; that incited scenes like the above to unfold on the steps of our Capitol — was ultimately deemed uncontroversial enough to pass into law. Meanwhile, a bill that would allow a restaurant (notice I didn’t say “bar,” we’re not allowed to have those here) to promote a drink special offered in its establishment before 9PM (again, our overlords will not tolerate drink specials after 9PM) was simply “too controversial” to even bring up for a vote.

The controversy was centered around a fear that the legislation could have a potential negative effect on minors. “If the bill would have passed, our biggest concern was about the increase of overconsumption of underage drinkers,” said Daniel Fabian, the coordinator of alcohol and substance abuse at the University of Richmond, in an article published in Monday’s Virginia Gazette. (Funny, I too had a “coordinator of alcohol and substance abuse” when I was minor, but I just called him Gary. He had a convincing fake ID, an older brother who sold weed and parents that were never home.)

So, the fear is that a restaurant advertising discounted drinks on their website or facebook page would just prove too enticing for minors…cause if there are two things that teenagers love, its alcohol and saving money. Not to mention that, no matter how enticing a happy hour special may be, said minors are SIMPLY NOT ALLOWED TO BUY ALCOHOL. So what’s next? Outlawing car commercials for fear they may encourage underage driving?

Ah well, hopefully with this behind us lawmakers in Virginia will redouble their focus on legislation that seeks to create jobs. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!